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An Open Letter to Delaire Members from Disenchanted but Still Hopeful

 

 

I have been reading the "news" on the Delaire Governance website for about 3 years now, along with many others who might not want to admit it.  I have to say that many things on this website make sense and appear to be true.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree with everything or how it’s delivered.  I don’t.  I’ve never had any communication with Manny Brecker and anything that I “know” about him has been learned through the clubhouse rumor mill or club communications.  I believed everything I was told to begin with, and some of it may be true for all I know.  But even if some is true, it saddens me to see another member being treated and talked about as badly as him.  I’ve heard people say they wish he would die and burn in hell.  Perhaps that’s more telling about the people who have said it.  There has to be a way to remedy this ongoing battle between him and the Club.  How could there not after all these years? I’ve been a resident member for about 10 years and I care a great deal about what happens here.  

 

Out of fear of consequences and repercussions against those who speak up, I’ve remained quiet until now.  After recently reading the open letter from Richard “Cappy” Capezzali, it made me feel like there may be hope.  We could all benefit by speaking up, in an honest, friendly and non-aggressive way.  All of the members have a stake in Delaire, especially the residents, so why should we be afraid?  It looks as if this club is on a runaway course for destruction, based on the behavior of many (not just the board). In my time here as a member, I’ve experienced every administration encouraging mob-like behavior, as if the louder you get, the more important you are.  It seems to have grown worse over the years.  Have we become so desensitized that this seems normal and acceptable?  Our board is elected by the members and once they're in, it is still their obligation to conduct themselves in an appropriate way with ALL members at ALL times.  Picking and choosing who is “worthy” of responses, acknowledgements or even a social courtesy is unacceptable.  The Board should be leading by example and perhaps they are.  

 

As paying members who support this community you'd think our satisfaction would be of great value, yet we’re not treated that way.  There is so much animosity and so much negativity that is distributed daily, it makes for a very dysfunctional community.  I have read and heard about the issues at the "sit down bagel meeting" on January 7, 2020 and I'm embarrassed.  This certainly wasn’t the first time in a meeting where things were out of control.  Why do we tolerate fellow members being treated in any other way than respectful and civil?  It is beyond me how and why bullying and rudeness are not only allowed to continue, but encouraged.  Would you stand for the same treatment of your children or grandchildren in school?  I think the answer is no. 

 

When the President or meeting leader fails to strictly forbid cheering, booing, interruptions, name calling, etc., the bad behavior appears to be authorized and therefore encouraged. It is up to the President (or meeting leader) to maintain control and allow all voices to be heard.  Respect, civility and courtesy should be the order of the day. 

 

All of us, no matter what type of membership, have a right to be here.  A welcoming environment with equality, civility and respect is what every member should experience at Delaire and in meetings as well.  If there is something happening here that we do not agree with, we should have the freedom and every right to express our opinions without fear of retaliation, shunning, blackballing, or being attacked.  We are all adults here, please act like it. 

 

Also remember who is paying the bills here - MEMBERS - that means we are shareholders in this venture.  I highly doubt any corporate board would last very long if they conducted themselves in the way that ours does.

 

Stop the divide, please work to repair, rebuild and establish Delaire as the fun, friendly, strong and inviting club that it is meant to be.  This is something we must all work towards, but it starts with the board.

 

As for the non-resident membership "issues", I have to say I agree with Cappy.  I too love the non-resident members and I'd never want them to feel otherwise.  I know that there are other club options out there for them and I’m happy they chose Delaire.  The non-resident members did not come in here and steal memberships, they signed up for an offer that the Delaire Board extended - you cannot blame the non-resident members for that.  I do think Delaire needs to revisit the dues structure so that we are sharing the costs of running this club more equitably among all members.

 

We all came to Delaire because it appealed to us.  It looked beautiful, with a relaxed, welcoming and inviting environment.  Diversity and acceptance is imperative, no matter race, religion or opinion, everyone should be treated equally.  Let’s please focus on re-establishing that, not only for the current residents and members, but also for future members.  We can accomplish so much more when working together rather than the tug of war that is currently going on.

 

Sincerely,

 

Disenchanted but still hopeful

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